Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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