Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
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just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"