Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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