I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
