What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
