did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That was before I lit my hair on fire
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
