Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
