All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
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I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
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Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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