glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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