Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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