My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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