i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
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her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.