is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.