What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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