I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
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I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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