i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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