I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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