Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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