Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize