I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
