I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
