i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize