Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
tell me about the eggs
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
