Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
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