life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
