just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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