just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
