I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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