Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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