saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
