would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We are two peas in an std pod
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize