Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
