i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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