I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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