what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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