She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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