I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
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I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize