you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't turn off my feet"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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