I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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