3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
