I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize