Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
