it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
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You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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