So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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