He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
