once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
