i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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