Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize