where am i from again
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
