i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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