Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
too bad you live with your parents still
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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