there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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