Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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