My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I party with great urgency now.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
