I think my fart just growled at me.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
