Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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