I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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